22 Reasons Why You are Not Married

  1. You haven’t asked yet.
  2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
  3. Because I just love hearing this question.
  4. Just lucky, I guess.
  5. It gives my mother something to live for.
  6. My fiancée is awaiting his/her parole.
  7. I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
  8. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
  9. I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
  10. It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
  11. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
  12. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
  13. My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.
  14. I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
  15. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
  16. I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
  17. I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.
  18. What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?
  19. I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
  20. Why aren’t you thin?
  21. I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
  22. Bonus reply for Single Mothers: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.